So I have been really struggling with our study of Song of Solomon. I guess all the girls swoon over that book cause it's so romantic and Jesus is so sweet and all this stuff. But honestly I came to my leaders saying, I don't get this. This is a weird book of the bible, that is I mean let's be honest, kinda nasty, and it's between Solomon and his wife, period. What do you mean it's between Jesus and The Bride (the church). I had about 5 leaders try to explain it to me, because my brain just couldn't comprehend that Jesus could be that In love with me, so it must be in the bible to show what a Godly marriage should look like. So after many days of blank stares and punching God in the face with the annoyance of my misunderstanding, I came to the conclusion that basically, I didn't get it cause I have never seen a Godly relationship played out in my life, so therefore I just can't seem to understand this funky book of the bible, and I was gonna have to get some revelation from God cause no one was gonna be able to explain it to me. First, I just want to encourage anyone who just doesn't understand something of the bible, ask God till you get it. He WILL explain. He WILL help you understand. So lets back track a little bit....
Just because I didn't understand how Song of Solomon related to Jesus and me doesn't mean that I didn't understand that He was the Lover of my soul. One night in the prayer room, about 2 weeks before we even started to study the Song of Solomon I had a ridiculous gushy moment with Jesus. We were talking about my husband. Of course I have no clue who he is, but I talk to Jesus about him a lot. (Lame and cheesy I know, but love me or don't) And I was telling Jesus, I'm scared to be married because I don't want any man to take away any love I have for You. And Jesus being the cutie that He is, explained to me how that wouldn't happen. Then my heart became more overwhelmed by how amazing my Jesus is, and how He is the best thing in my life, and I told Him He was my Always and Forever. I wrote it in my Journal : " Jesus, I don't want to be in this place, where I get caught up in just doing things. I want to LOVE You. I want everything I do to come out of a heart that loves You. Jesus, You are my Always and Forever." And then I cried a little bit, ya know did the whole girl thing cause Jesus is such a schmoozer and everything. Flash forward 2 weeks: The Song of Solomon confusion that I previously wrote about starts up. Flash Forward to last night:
Another night in the Prayer Room, and I was still wrestling with understanding how He could love me like that. I knew that He was MY Always and Forever, but I couldn't fathom that I was His. I cried out that He would somehow show me. This was not something ANYONE could explain to me with Words, I was going to have to feel it, straight from the source. Then the worship team switched gears and went from intercession to a worship song. I wasn't really paying attention, cause I was still in prayer mode, but something started to stir up in me. I started to feel so loved, so cherished and I felt like I was starting to get it. Then I realized what the song was that the worship leader was singing. Always Forever by Phil Wickham. Seriously Jesus!? You can imagine what happened after that, a never ending flood of tears. I actually said it out loud, I get it. I get the Song of Solomon. Jesus was being cheesy right back, but He couldn't have done anything else more perfect to my heart. He, at that moment told me that I was also His Always and Forever. Mind you, I have never heard a Phil Wickham song sung at IHOP before. So, umm there's no way that one is a coincidence. AHHH! My heart has never felt so full!!!!!!!! Thank you Papa, for your Glorious Love.
God I pray for everyone who reads this blog, that You would grant them, according to the riches of Your glory, to be strengthened with might through Your spirit in the inner man, that You Jesus may dwell in their hearts through faith. That they would be rooted in Love, and that they may be able to comprehend with all the saints, the width, and length, and depth and height - To know Your Love Jesus, that surpasses all knowledge; that they may BE FILLED with all the fullness of God. -Eph 3:16-19
We Love You Jesus. Amen.
