A Beautiful Encounter!

Tonight the Lord wrecked me. I have been undone by Him the Last 2 days. I long to see His face. To gaze upon His beauty. He is the most beautiful think possibly imaginable. His beauty is unfathomable. I have just been fervently praying to see Him. David put my heart into perfect words...It seems as though He had the same encounter:
Oh God You are my God, earnestly I seek You; my soul thirsts for You in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen You in the Sanctuary and Beheld Your power and Your glory. Because Your love is better than life, my lips will glorify You. I will praise You as long as I live, and in Your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods, with singing lips, my mouth will praise You. On my bed I remember You; I think of You through the watches of the night. Because You are my help I sing in the shadow of Your wings. My soul clings to You, Your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63:1-9.
Tonight during worship I had a beautiful encounter with Jesus. I was crying the entire service, didn't listen to the message, didn't participate in ministry, the Lord was doing a different work in me. Tears flowed down my cheeks at just the thought of my King. I sang for a good 30 minutes, I love You, I love You, I love You. Over and Over and Over again. The words were barely able to leave my mouth because at this point I was sobbing. The next moment the Lord told me to hold out my hands (they were in my pockets) He said, Hold out your hands, I have something to give you. So I held out my hands, palms flat, fingers stretched out. I saw the Lord in front of me, and He put His hands in my hands. I looked down at my hands and my fingers had closed in, as one's hands do when someone holds their hand. I didn't even know my fingers did that. I didn't move them myself. King Jesus was holding my Hands. Then I sobbed for the next 4 hours. Actually....I've been crying typing this blog. Ask Jesus to be next to you. Desire Him. Seek Him. Love Him. His presence is the best gift ever given. Thank You Abba. Thank You for Your gift tonight. I want nothing more than to dwell in Your courts gazing on the beautiful face of my King of Kings. I love You, I love You, I love You.

He is Worthy

7/9
Jesus, I need you right now. I feel inadequate. I look around and see everyone moved. I have been moved. I was more than moved yesterday, but today I'm not. Why? How could such a magnificent amazing God not move me. I feel like something is wrong with me when I'm not moved. I didn't feel like worshiping even though the prayer set was interceding for what my heart burns for- Revival in America. I pray that you break me of a lazy spirit. You are worth my effort. Please give me breakthrough tonight as I labor in the prayer room. Give me the passion to make it till 6am. Give me the grace to fight today Lord.

Even through all of this, the Lord is really teaching me that sometimes I won't feel it. Sometimes I'm too tired, or too lazy or honestly just don't feel like doing Jesus stuff, but something that He is really teaching me is that all those things don't matter. You aren't always going to feel like you're on the mountain top. You're not always going to feel like He is sitting right next to you. You aren't always going to be dancing or shouting or crying. Sometimes you feel nothing. But you press in, because He is the King of Kings and He is worthy. You do it anyways, because He deserves everything. We cant do anything apart from Him. Right now I feel like I don't have anything. No strength, no overwhelming mercy. Just Him.  And He is enough.

7/10
The Lord is really teaching me what consecration is. To be Wholly and Holy set apart for Him. All throughout the bible we see examples of amazing people who chose not to eat choice foods, or vowed not to drink wine...What is defiling your temple, keeping it from truly being consecrated to the Lord. Is it thoughts? Actions? Video Games? Actually certain foods or drugs or alcohol? Ask the Holy spirit what it is. He is worthy of our effort. He is worth our sacrifice. He is worthy of all of us.

First 3 Days

7/8
It's funny being out here. I'm being stripped of my sleep, my wonderful friends, and the place I knew as my home for the last 25 years. The one thing that is constant is HIM. He is the same God here in Kansas City that he is in Orange County. Every time the intercessor gets on the mic and contends for a revival in Kansas city, I just intercede with them on behalf of Orange County. I know a wave is going to hit our home. But revival doesn't happen with one person if we don't want it to burn out. So Father I pray that you touch every heart in Orange county with a measure of your Love. That they cannot stand still, that nothing else satisfies and that every heart is overwhelmed and fascinated with your majesty. Wake up Orange County Lord.

Another thing, sitting in the prayer room pray-singing certain phrases over and over, you actually get to thinking about the words. Do we really believe that His blood is enough? I know that our first answer would be yes. But really think about your life. What if we lived as though we truly believed that Jesus' blood was enough? Do we pray and sing just to sound pretty? Or do our prayers come from the groanings of God's heart leaping out of our souls? The Lord is really teaching me how to be intentional.

It takes YOU to love You Lord, So increase revelation. To You is all my affection.
There's Power in Your blood, and authority that is released When we declare Your Holy name. Amen.

16 hours left in Orange County....

So I'm about ready to leave and my brain is going haywire. A friend walked in to me laying on the floor, blasting film scores (it's what I do when I'm anxious)...I'm being attacked big time. Satan is trying to tell me that I'm going to be easily replaced, that no one is going to miss me, and that I am all together not needed here anymore. Which I know is a complete lie. I'm just bein real.  And Yes Chris Selzer and David Fernandez, this is an emotional response, not a logical one.

I know that Jesus is going to do amazing things to me, and through me on this journey, and I can't wait to sit at His feet for 3 months. But I would be lying if I told you I wasn't shaking in my boots. Anyways, Next time I post I'll be in Kansas City!

4 Weeks Away...

So I've finally raised most of my money, bought my plane ticket, arranged a pick up from the airport to the International House of Prayer, and it's starting to become real. I'm not gonna lie, I'm getting super nervous.This is the first time I have ever done anything on my own like this. I've been to a bunch of foreign countries, with no fear, but for some reason going only halfway across the country alone for 3 months is starting to make me sweat. Fire in the Night...Here I come.

                I recently got a prophetic word from a friend, saying that she saw God put a bucket before me, full of  grape juice. She said I then opened my mouth really wide and drank the whole bucket in one drink. She didn't know this at the time, but that is actually a bible verse from Psalm 81:10:

I am the LORD your God,
   who brought you up out of Egypt.
Open wide your mouth and I will fill it.

 I'm ready to recieve what you have for me Lord. Even if I'm scared. I will open my mouth and be honored that you fill it. Thank you for chosing me. Thank you for giving me the courage to say yes. I pray I have not one No left in me after this journey. You are more than worthy of my Yes.

  Click "follow" if you would like to follow me on the 3 month journey the Lord is going to take me on while I sit at His feet.